For a while I haven’t really given thought to why I do not date black men as much, if ever, anymore. All my black guy friends always ask me and I do not have a clear answer. It hit me today one of the main reasons why I do not date black men. They like to be up in the club and I do not. That may sound like a really stupid reason, but let me explain *in my Kevin Heart voice*. I have nothing against my back men, I wish them the best. But you cannot fault me for my preference in men. I do not just like white men, I like all men. Any man that I find to be attractive is a man I will date. So below I will explain.
First black men are very flashy. White men are flashy too but in very different ways. When I am with a black man I need to be done up to the nines at all times because he wants to show me off as his woman and his woman needs to look a certain way. I have to keep up with the joneses. White men, yes they are flashy but it is in a different way. They have better houses and cars and worry about their work clothes over their everyday clothes. All the white men that I have dated have nice places to live, nice suits to wear to work, a nice car, and money to travel with. The black men that I have dated have nice cars, nice clothes, and money to spend at the club… and their idea of traveling is going to Miami.
Second the white men that I have dated love me and my natural curls. Black men barely look twice at me. I do not have a fro, my curls are very defined, but since all the video girls have long weaves that is what the want. White men love it when my hair is natural. They call me queen. I am sure there are black men out there that love a woman with natural hair, I do not know where you are so I cannot account for you. But I do know you exist.
White men are not afraid to tell me I am beautiful. Those are the compliments that I have gotten more from white men then I have with black men. I do like to be called sexy but only when we are about to have sex or in some sort of situation like that. All the creep ass messages I get from black men in my inbox on these dating sites are, “damn you sexy” and things like that. Sorry that is not going to get my attention. I would rather be called pretty than that if I do not know you. I do not want to be a “bad bitch” either.
Lets be real, some black men do not think about the future. Notice how I said SOME. There are a few that do. My white men have been very successful men and have planned for the future. whether they wanted a family or not. They typically came from families and are family oriented men. They invest in the life they want to have. I want something stable and I find stableness with my white men. I do not understand how some of my brothers can think that spending thousands of dollars in the club is going to help their future. I would rather buy a handbag than to spend that amount of money in the club with a thousand people at my table.
Eating pussy has just become very popular to black men. From my experience black men are a little more selfish in the love department. They want their head first before they do anything else. White men do not hold giving head over your head. IF you want to do it, cool, if not, cool. I mean do not get me wrong all men love to get head, just like all women love to get their lady bits ate out. But they also love to see their women cum first. I am always taken care of in that department. It makes you want to get down on those knees and please your man when they take care of your first. My white men have all been adventurous in the bed. It was a white man who first introduced me to anal and tossed my salad. I have had the kinkiest and best sex with white men. All men cheat do not get me wrong and all men can be players. But at least I do not have to deal with ten baby mothers. Mostly because my white men are willing to help me pay for the things I need in order for me to not get pregnant.
I do not like going to the club. And black men my age and a couple years ahead, love to go to the club. They like to shout out for their friends and drop big money on bottles of vodka that cost like $20 in the liquor store but be $200 in the club. I like to go to the bar and dance and have a good time without the pressure of having to impress people I do not even know. I get dressed up and shit, but I do not have to get dressed to the nines like when I do go out with my majority black friends. Its less pressure. I am sure I can find black men who are interested in what I like to do. I am not giving up on that. But it is easier to meet white men at the places I do like to go to though. I am not being groped at the bar like I would be in the club.
For me what it really comes down to is sex and stability. The stability part is what is most important for me. I know with my older white men, if I am out, I know they are not out at all hours trying to pick up girls. They are usually out with their old friends who may be married or in relationships. More of their friends are in relationships which rubs off on them. My old white men like to stay in the house. They are not out every weekend. White men my age could be compared to black men my age. But I do not date men my age in general whether they are white or black or spanish or whatever. I like to date older men. So maybe this isn’t about white and black, maybe its about older men versus men my own age. I think most of the issues is about men my own age. So if I erase, white vs. black it really does come down to older vs. my age.
I have not given up on my black men. I do still try to go on dates with them. But my priorities are very different. What I like to do is very different so sometimes it is hard to relate. I come from a mixed family. I have whites and blacks in my family. I do not think that just because I am black that I have to date my own race. If I am attracted to a man, then I will date that man.