|There’s levels to this… And I’ve reached them all|



Friday. Good ole Friday.

My Friday started like any other Friday. I went to work.

Actually, I went to work after I made a detour to visit this hot guy and we boned. Then I went to work.

Me and the Southern Charmer had plans to meet up at his job and hang out after he got off. One of my friends cancelled on me for happy hour so I was scrambling trying to find people to hang out with at his bar, promising them cheap drinks.

Finally I met up with this girl I had met there the previous Friday with some of her friends. So I went to his bar, then met up with JB by the Nationals Stadium at this place called The Yards. The hold jazz festivals there on the weekends and apparently some live entertainment on Fridays as well.

Anyway, during that whole process, Napoleon text me. Saying he wanted to meet up and hang out and all that stuff. It was weird because he was texting me to make sure that I would be available and not assuming that I was available– which is his usual M.O.. Knowing that Southerner was not getting off until super late, I knew that I could swing by Napoleon’s and still hang out with Southerner. So I planned ahead, asked Southerner if I went to U Street with friends would he pick me up. He said he would, so I was free.

There was a part of me that was feeling guilty, but I am not in a relationship so whatever. Hung out with home girl and her friends and then went to see Napoleon. He told me he was going to be at Lost Society, I told him that I was on my way. Get there, and there is a line. Get inside and I cannot find him. Texted him, he is at home. Lucky him, he lives a couple blocks away. So I texted him somewhat angry and trekked to his house.

When I got to his house, he did not pick up. Now, in my head I’m like “this fool better now have fallen asleep again” because this new building does not have a night person to let you in. So I am standing outside and I can see directly in his window and could tell that he was there. I see him coming to the window and looking out but now answering his phone, so I get pissed. But then he sees me and comes down.

When he comes down, I realize he is beyond drunk. He’s all “why did you come if you’re mad” and I’m all “well now I am just here because I am waiting for a ride”. We proceed to his place and I’m explaining to him that he needs to stop being all inconsiderate because we’ve known each other for a long time and if he left the place he should have told me. He’s all “why do you hate me so much, I know you hate me, why do you come if you hate me”. I don’t hate him. I opposite hate him. I cannot call this arguing because it was weird.

We go into his room and he pulls me to the bed and I am not mad anymore. He takes my clothes off and goes down on me, but this is different, he’s aggressive. I have been trying to get him to do me aggressively for a long time and he would tell me I was “being bossy”. Friday was different. He was talking all dirty and aggressive and it was turning me all the way on! Flipped me over and paid some attention to my ass with his tongue… Then came the sex. I never complain about the sex with Napoleon, and Friday it was better than his best! He was all “you like that, you like when I do that” blah blah blah. It lasted a long time.

When it was over, he disregarded the fact that I told him I was not staying over and told me to lay down with him and that in the morning he would be coming with more heat. God I wish I stayed over… I did not mean to fall asleep, but I put my phone in my hand so I could feel the vibration for when Southerner called. Eight missed calls and 4 texts later, I wake up and he is outside. While I am trying to scramble to put on my clothes, Napoleon is trying to pull me back into bed with him. I try to fix my hair and fix my make-up.

Rushing down the stairs I realize I smell like sex. “I just hope he does not smell it”, was the thought going through my head. When I reach the door to outside, there is this look on his face and I’m like “shit do I look like I just had sex?” I think he knew that I was with a boy, because he was asking questions about this “friend” I was with. Luckily, I am cool under pressure and just answered the questions by not really answering the questions. But I did feel like a bitch.

We get to Southerners house, and we talk and stuff for a while. I go to the bathroom to kind of wash myself off and get the smell of another man off of me. We stayed up pretty late and ended up having sex. Three times in one day with three different people. That is a record, for myself at least.

Saturday. I woke up at Southerners house. I was supposed to hang out with Oakland and then hang out with Southerner and some friends. Thankfully, Oakland cancelled. I laid around his house and straightened his room a little and got ready to meet my friend AK.

Sunday, I was still with the Southerner. Thank goodness I am an over packer because I was good on clothes. We had sex and went to brunch. At some point when I was at his house and I was talking about wearing the same shorts three days in a row, he said “why don’t you leave clothes here”… UHHHH what? I mean, he did tell me he wanted to see me exclusively, still. He even suggested I bring facial wash and feminine things too… I cannot.

I do not know where my heart is. When me and Napoleon have sex, especially when he is drunk, I think he tries to get me pregnant or put me in situations like that. I know he wants to be with me, but he does not need to trap me.

Anyway. It is now Monday and looking back on my sins from over the weekend, all I can do is laugh.

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Showtime Bar w/ Southern Charmer

So Southern Charmer went to Georgia to pick up some furniture and came back Tuesday night. He wanted to hang out when he got back, but since he got back to so late and I had work the next day, we decided to just hang out Wednesday.

So I went to his job for happy hour and got some food and drinks til he got off. It was crowded, and it was so hot that day I was sweating! But I was I had a book to read, so I was cool. He kept coming over to me and handing me more drinks and at one point I said to him “make me something that is going to get me drunk, but not too drunk”… What was I thinking? I wasn’t. Since it was so hot out that day, I chugged down my Guinness like it was water. Then I had another and another before I had a drink that had some whiskey in it. Not to mention, I had not had dinner…

So we blew that joint when he was done and went to some bar I do not remember the name and waited for his cousin to come meet us. Once the cousin arrived, we were off to this bar called Showtime. The bartender had a dog! I legit sat and played with the dog and sipped more Guinness. Why aren’t there more bars like that? Ones with dogs. Well we soon left Showtime, but not before I made friends with the Doberman.

Back at the crib, we made tacquitos and had more shots of whiskey. I kept lifting my shirt and putting it over his head. We had some good sex when we first got to his place. Then more whiskey and tacquitos. I took him around the corner of his house and we had sex again. And in the kitchen… I harassed his ass all night.

Told him I would meet him upstairs naked in his bed, but I passed out.

Good night all around. I was hungover the next morning. Luckily I worked from home the next morning.



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T. Ontario && Cuffing Season is Upon us

No I am not talking about Canada.

So this hot ass guy messages me on Tinder last night. He looks like Joe Manganiello. I wish I was kidding. Do not know what he looks like? I’ll show you:


Picture this guy with shorter hair and lighter skin. So I totally was up for the challenge. We exchanged messages and then numbers and then he sent me pictures of his body. And boy was I amazed with his body. To quote one of my favorite blogs “he had the body of a god”.  I am not looking for a relationship but I am not looking for a one night stand either. I would like a constant hook up person. CREB and Napoleon have been busy and I just want to meet new people.

Anyway, we hit it off and we set a date to meet up and have dinner on Aug 5th. Why so far off? Well he will be out of town for work for a couple of days over the next couple of weeks and as he said it “wants to do things right”. He is extremely hot. I consider myself a hot/sexy/cute woman, but how am I pulling all these hot ass men?! Who genuinely think I am gorgeous? I have high self esteem, but I am still amazed.

*fans self*


Ugh, I am so excited to see this guy. Just because his body is sick and he seems like a freak. I like kinky.  The only thing that I could see that would potentially turn me off is his “I work in the government and my job is so important attitude”. Every man in DC acts like that no matter what t he job is.



There is Southern Charmer and Oakland and CREB and Napoleon. I used to not be able to be a playa. But now I am out here acting like the biggest playa in the world!! My whole quest was to go on these dating sites and find the right guy and settle down. But then I started liking the life and going on these dates and all these adventures and funny stories to tell.  Now I do not want a boyfriend at all. Like I want one, but then again I do not.

Southern Charmer likes me a lot, I can tell. Oakland likes me a lot. How do I know this? Both had let it slip that I was “their potential girl” over the weekend. CREB lets me do what I want to do, and Napoleon does not want to know but he likes me a lot.

While Southern Charmer was picking up his furniture in Georgia, he kept me updated and called me a lot. It feels great to have someone calling me and giving me all this attention. BUUUUUTTTTTT I do not want to be wifed right now! I mean, the holidays are coming up and I would like to have gifts and stuff, but I do not want to give up all this.

Eventually, I will settle down but in the meantime I like all the options that I have!!

cuffing season

So cuffing season is upon us… I will just take it slow and whatever happens, happens. So many options, so little time. I am even running out of time to set up dates. There is only so much time in one weekend! Let me stop complaining because I could be dateless and sitting on the couch eating ice cream gaining weight.

xo LB

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|men can be stupid|

For all the women out there that read this blog, I did not just come to this realization I am reiterating the obvious. For all the men that read this blog, I know that not ALL men are stupid.

So this guy that used to work at my college randomly started following me on Tumblr not too long ago and I did not think anything about it. He had sent me a couple of messages, but since Tumblr is stupid about telling you that you have messages, I never got them. Anyway, you would not think that someone would try and hit on you on Tumblr. So in my head I was just like “oh this guy is just trying to be my friend” or something like that.

So he said that he would be in town this week and I said that I would be nice and show him around town. In my head, I was really just trying to be nice and show him around town. He is not my type so I did not think anything of it. I used to have him on Facebook and I believe I deleted him because there was not need to be his friend on Facebook.

Anyway he texted me and said we should meet up Thursday around 8:30-9pm… That immediately sent out a red flag. I have work the next day and I figured we were just going to do a happy hour thing. And he conveniently suggested we go to some place close to his hotel– another red flag. I consulted the help of my fellow friend and he told me to just tell him straight up and ask his intentions. BUT DON’T BE RUDE, he said.

So I asked him and then came all the excuses. When I told him that I knew that he was married and that that was not my cup of tea he told me that he was divorced but had not made it public on social media and that his Tumblr was a secret account.

The smart girl in me had a light bulb go off in my head. Here are the facts:

1. He had not made it public that he had a divorce– or so he was just telling me.
2. He has a secret account, where he posts sexual content and does not want to associate it to his name.
3. He is trying to hard to convince me that he is single.

I do not believe him. If I get a divorce, I am disconnecting my marriage from all social media that I have so I can move on. Why do you have a secret account sir? That is sketchy. And lastly, why are you so worried if I would expose you?! Yes, he was worried that I would stoop to his level and expose him. I am writing about it here, but none of you people know who he is. I do not use names.

Anyway, needless to say I will not be meeting up with him on Thursday. He is not even my type!! I just hate how he tried it.

But the text conversations below. I forgot to blur the number…and I cannot do it over because I already deleted the text stream. Oh well.





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Double Booked Weekend*


I went to see bartender at his place of employment. He was all cute working and stuff and flirting with the female patrons. He gave me attention and every  now and then would come by and touch me on the shoulder or something. Sometimes I would look over and see him admiring me from afar.


It also helped that he would just give me random drinks and stuff. It was funny because there were a lot of old men that hitting on me and you could see that he enjoyed seeing these guys hitting on me knowing that I was there for him. At one point this guy was being really obvious about hitting on me and trying to give me his number and Southern Charmer said to him “she’s with me”. Cute. He was staking his claim on me already, and this was the second time we were hanging out.

At one point in the night I leaned over to him and asked him when he would be finishing up because were going to go Cantina Marina down the street from where we were.   The guy–mid sentence– says “OK” when he saw me lean over and rest my head on him to ask the  question. Like “oh really, I’ve been sitting here trying my hardest and  you gonna go with the white guy”. I get that  a lot from black men. I do not care what “exotic” girls they claim they like or want, so why the fuck are you so worried about who I date? Anyway, we went to Cantina Marina and it was lovely.



The best part of the night was going back to his place. It was not planned or anything. We walked in on his roommates having a party. We sat on the deck and made out a little. He was so worried about me seeing his room, his newly moved in room because he had to go down to Georgia to get his furniture… I told him to chill.

My back muscles were sore so I asked him for a massage. He got me to take off my dress and began to massage my muscles. Long story short we had sex. It was fulfilling. You could tell he was nervous about it.  It was good none the less. We talked a little more and before I knew it, I was asleep.



The next morning I was in the mood, so I did what I do best and initiated. He took the bait. But he had a better idea– he lubed me up and we had the best anal sex I have ever had. Well, I do not have a lot of anal sex, but when I do it always feels good!! LOL (God I feel bad for the people or friends that read this, please do not judge me. Whatever, I do what I want!!) He was surprised that I would like that type of stuff…

So Saturday I went home and got ready for my day date with Oakland. Then I would go to the bar and see Southern Charmer again. Me and Oakland drank tea and hung out and talked and got to know each other really well. He is so nice and so sweet. I like spending time with him. It is so chill. He wanted me to go to a party, but I was meeting my friend KLC to hang out with Southern Charmer at the bar. And I felt bad, but he looked beat.

So while me and my friend sat at the bar and talked, SC was working. He would come by and talk to me and give us drinks but you could tell he wanted to just hang out with me. He told these drunk girls next to me that I was his girl… Sweet. I am his girl… WAIT, what?! I thought I wanted a boyfriend but I do not know now. I like dating and not being attached, but then again, I want to come home to someone… UGH. It is weird because Oakland also called me his girl too–in passing. What the fuck!

Here these two guys want me so bad, and I’m sitting here waiting on my ex– or CREB, because the D is so good.

I’m confused.

SC called me like three times yesterday and we talked and stuff. He wants to be with me, I guess. I do not want to be unfaithful if I am in a relationship, but I also do not want to be in a relationship because I think at this point in my life I would be tempted to be unfaithful.


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|Thirst Trap on Tinder|

So Tinder has this new thing where you can post “moments” and your matches will see it and so on and so forth. I never really realized the point until yesterday. I set up a trap to see what would happen…


I put the above picture up with the caption “working from home today”. I have about a hundred and something matches and I wanted to see who would take the bait. Plus I wanted to boost my Tinder game a little. Let’s just say I got a lot of messages yesterday. Like a lot! It was great. I also did some sprucing of my profile, adding new pictures and taking down old ones…

So basically I lined up some dates for this weekend. If you’re a girl I would definitely use the moments to hook some bait and line up the dates.


It works…

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Ginger Guy Needs Helps

So Friday when I was on my date with a lame guy and before going to see the ex boo Napoleon, Ginger Boo texted me.

He was texting me about a threesome… I have not really talked to him for a while because he is very weird. Like he does not know what he wants in life. When we first hooked up, the next day he was all like “I feel so bad…” and all that good stuff. I was just like, we can be friends and he assumed I wanted some sort of relationship out of that. Umm– no. He is too fickle, because the next day he was texting me again about doing bad things to my body.

Then he sexts me on Friday. Since I was bored I responded but knew that it would never happen. So today, after a good morning text and since I am bored at work, I asked him about the girl and the threesome. He goes “I found a girl at church… I am giving up sex… I am looking for a good Christian girl”. I’m all like ” Just three days ago you were all up in my texts telling me how much you wanted my body”. He then goes on to say that he did not want to go to hell and he was changing his life around.

Now, I have nothing against Christians and people who go to church. but he is so weird. I seriously think he needs to figure out his life. He kept going on saying that he knows I want a relationship with him and I’m over here like, “Boy I don’t even text you!” I have not talked to him seriously since that day. He is cute and all but clearly has some demons he needs to battle before he and I could ever talk in that way again. I do not have time for that flip flop we all going to hell bullshit. If I go to hell, fine, but at least I lived my life. I even threw the “not all people who go to church are good Christians” argument. A lot of girls I know who go to church are doing way worse things than me.

It is ridiculous this guy…

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Late Post about Jewish Attorney

July Fourth.

I had not plans at first, then Attorney decided he was not going home and wanted to hang out with me. Now in my head, I’m like “why would a guy want to hang out with a girl on a holiday if they did not like them”… So it was great. We had drinks by the water in Georgetown. There was lots of PDA as you could imagine from our sext the Sunday prior. 

It was great, we decided that we were going to go back to his place and watch the fireworks. Something happens to me when I drink a lot– but not too much. I lost track of time between walking to get a cab, getting in the cab and ending up at his building. I do remember the apt number. 

We were in his place and it was nice, you can tell a girl lived there once. Then I lost track of time again. I came to and I was on top of him. I do not remember if the sex was good or not. All I remember is him trying anal a couple times and it did not work. Then I remember waking up. I must’ve fallen asleep. But I wanted to stay over and he had work in the morning. It was weird.

So he drove me home. We fooled around in the car and hooked up again. That I remember and it was great. His Johnson is not that exciting, but it did the job. 

When I drink I talk too much and I think I let some stuff slip about Napoleon. Whatever happened, lets just say that I have not talked to him since last Monday. I am not upset because I still have men in my roster. 

I have a new Oakland guy, I still have Napoleon and I have CREB. I am good. But he was so handsome and smelled good. One day he will pop back up, they all do. 


My life is crazy, but I love it.

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Feeling kind of Selfish

I have been having fun lately– a lot of fun. 

Half of me feels selfish about it. I will explain why.

My friends and I have made this “summer bucket list” about all the things that we wanted to do this summer.

Here is what I remember from the list:

  1. Go to a couple baseball games
  2. Go to the zoo
  3. Go to the Baltimore Aquarium
  4. Travel somewhere (I do not know if that was on there)
  5. Be a tourist

And maybe some other things. I am not too sure. So far, I have been to a couple baseball games and did the tourist thing a couple times. Have not gone to the zoo or the aquarium, but that will be soon. Since Oakland likes to so touristy type things, I think I will do them with him.

My overall plan this summer was to explore DC. Explore the different areas and the different bars and restaurants and activities that are out there.

I randomly went to a concert with my friend Keith– I did not even know the person– but I had a great time. I want to do more stuff like that. And so far I have been doing that will these new group of friends I have.

I thought I wanted to find a partner, but now I am just going with the flow and spending time with the guys I have and trying not to meet any new ones.

But back to my selfishness.

My friends are all taking summer classes and doing things with family and stuff, so this summer we started out going strong and then it dwindled. I am not mad at them, but I have been doing my own thing and I do not want to share it with them. Sounds weird? Well, it sounds weird to me too. We all have different sets of friends that we hang out with for different reasons. Keith and his friends are like chill turn up, Oakland and his friends are laid back go with the flow, and my core group are– actually I don’t know how to describe them. When me and AK are by ourselves its a chill grown woman thing.

Sometimes I feel like I need some people that match my flow, my vibe and all that good stuff. Yea, I feel like I am being selfish. After I posted about all my fun time shenanigans, one of my friends texted me. I did not respond because, I don’t like that whole “oh you look like you’re having fun let me join you” type friends, that’s why I stopped being friends with Kim Camps. She was a get wit and I hate those.

I just do not want to share all the good times I am having. In a way I feel like I have been abandoned and I am rebelling. But on the other hand, I realize that they have summer school and shit. It’s my anxiety that has me all cray cray.

For once I feel alive and want to just go out. I do not have time to just sit around and wait for people. I have to do me. I like having my own thing that’s all mine and no one else’s.

Am I being selfish?

xo LB 

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