the date with San Fran

So I mentioned in a previous post that I went out for my friend’s birthday. We went to Public Bar and it was a great time. Got approached by three guys and exchanged my contact info with all three of them. Yes, I do think I’m the shit. Do not rain on my parade.

So anyway, while I am trying to make sure the birthday girl is having fun and that she is getting free drinks because, why not. SO here I am trying to hook up other people not really thinking about myself, because I already have a lot on my plate anyway. And the friend of the guy I’m trying to hook up has a very handsome friend who I will call San Fran. We talked and he bought me a couple of beers. It was short, but we exchanged contact information.

We texted a few times at the beginning of the week and me being me; the bold and daring person I can be; asked him to happy hour yesterday after work. At first I did not think he would go for it, but he did. Thankfully because I go through these moods where I do not want to go straight home after work. 

Come to find out, he works not even a block away from my office. I see lunch dates in our future. JK who am I kidding, I do not leave my office for lunch like ever. Knowing that I was going to meet him made me work a little harder and stay all the way until 5 o’clock; something I never do.

Before meeting him though, I was a little apprehensive because he is different from my type. He is roughly around my age ( I have not asked him yet what his exact age is) and he is a little more on the preppy side. I am all types of rough around the edges but can dress however I need to dress. I have tats and I’m pretty sure he does not. But he like me enough to ask me for my digits. Different can me good. He also seems like he would want a girlfriend and for some reason, I get the feeling that I do not want to hurt his feelings. He is a nice guy all the way. Nicer than Southerner.

We meet outside my building and we head up to Dupont. I take him to my favorite spot, Sign of the Whale and we get some drinks and talk. I mean we talk about everything. I learned that he is originally from San Francisco (hence the name); went to school at U Pitt; works in finance with PNC; went to a French immersion school until 8th grade and then a Jesuit school after that; lived in a small condo, etc. I also learned that he has only been here for about three weeks. Yes, THREE whole damn weeks. He is literally FRESH MEAT and I am the first girl that will corrupt him show him around. We took our happy hour to U Street. We walked and talked, it was great. Showed him some cool places. 

Then we settled on going to Ben’s Next Door. We got chicken wings and mambo sauce with sweet potato fries. And more drinks of course. He was a gentleman. I assume he is mixed because he showed me a picture of his sister and she looked white. I could be wrong. I have not asked that yet. Like he was really into our conversation and I feel like I talked a lot. I mean, A LOT. NON-STOP. He did not seem to mind.

We both like sports, nerdy things like reading, taking it easy on the weekends and drinking exploring


This guy though, I feel like I do not want to have on my roster. I feel like that would be too cruel to have him on my roster because he seems like such a nice guy. I think, and I do not want to say this, he could be potential material for a boyfriend. If he does prove to be such, I will drag out our dating period for as long as possible. I mean whatever time will tell and I am in no rush for time to tell me anything. I am having fun.


So many men, so little time.

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I Think I Broke It

We’ve been having lots and lots of relations. I mean ALL THE TIME!! I can’t help it. He’s so damn handsome. So sexy. Those dimples always get me. So I’m always ready to pounce on him.

One night hanging out with his friends, we got it on in the bathroom. In. A. Public. Bathroom. Like it was nothing. I think that’s the best part about being in a relationship. Besides all the lovey dovey shit.

But I think he have been doing it too much because he has told me to stop. That his little man cannot take it anymore. That’s a good fucking feeling. I’m sad he’s out of commission for a while, but I know I’m putting it down right.

So no love making for me for a while.

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In Relationship Land

I haven’t had time to write anything because I’ve been trapped in relationship land.

I’ve been enjoying it. I’ve taken in this role as a girlfriend and I kind of like it. It’s been a whirlwind. And I find myself staying at his place more than my own. I’m like this domestic little bitch, and even considered becoming a stay at home girlfriend. Yes, you’ve read that right. Or maybe working from home 100% of the time. I enjoy cleaning and doing the laundry and all that jazz. Still not a fan of cooking, but he loves to cook so it’s a nice trade. Today, I cleaned the bathroom and bought candles to make his place smell like heaven. Who am I?

I never thought I would be in this situation where I’m someone’s girlfriend. For a long time I thought I would be the “Samantha” of my group of friends. I wasn’t looking for this, and neither was he.

There’s something that pulls us together. Something that makes us want to spend every waking moment with each other. Like, I literally miss him the second I’m at work.

He’s so sweet and attentive. We’ve had discussions, but no fights yet. He’s very caring and not afraid to show it. Did I mention he’s a good cook? Oh and the sex is hot. I mean, I already have an amazing sex drive, but he just makes me feel super sexy and want to jump his bones all the time. He makes me cum all the time. No one has made me cum as much as him.

I can’t stop looking at him and admiring him. His body, his face, his overall being. He makes me happy.

The only drawback is that he has this friend that he has known for 5 years. That’s a king time, right? You would think that being friends with someone that long, you would be really close with that person. This friend is a girl. And she’s been trying to invite him out and stuff, especially for his birthday, but he hasn’t told her he had a girlfriend. I’m annoyed by this because all the important people in my life know that I’m locked down. He keeps saying that he doesn’t have that type of relationship with her where they share things like that… I get it, but this bitch is trying to make reservations for his birthday. You would think he would be like, “oh yea I would be down for dinner, is it cool if my gf come along”. I mean, that would be my reaction. We have discussions about this, but I still just don’t get it. Ah, well.

Other than being all wrapped up in love, I’ve been working like a Jamaican. Trying to build a portfolio so I can be an independent contractor full time.

I’ll try not to stay away for long periods of time again.

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Sunday Funday

I’m up eating tortilla chips and working… Well taking a break from doing work to get some blogging in.

I do not know what I am doing. I know that I am happy in this fresh and new relationship. So happy that I have not taken my “unhappy” medication. Could this be dangerous? I have talked to my doc about weening me off of the medication, but she says that since my dosage is so low, that we could keep it where it is and I should be fine. To be honest, I do not think I have taken it in a couple of weeks. I have been good. My mood has been stable and constant. I do fear that I will fall down into a state similar to the one that I had earlier this year. I know I should not be fucking around with my medication, but I’ve been good.

I have been staying at his place for a two weeks. I have not been home in a long time. Like staying away from him for long periods of time. I just do not want to stay away from him and he doesn’t want that either. No, I do not plan on living with him right now because I am in the process of moving to my own condo. I feel like even if I move into my own condo I will be always at his house. He even said I could use his second set of keys…

I could, clean and whatever else a girlfriend is supposed to do, and I have no objections. He has tamed me fully. I cooked breakfast and lunch without even thinking about it, without him even asking. WITHOUT OBJECTING. WHO AM I?! I mean it does feel good, but it also feels weird.

Today on this Sunday Funday he is going to cook me some breakfast and we are going to watch the Steelers play at some bar. I will probably bring a book and some work to work on, but I generally like football.

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I’m slowly giving in. (Sept 8th)

This guy is slowly making me give in. I cannot help it. He’s too sweet and the sex is amazing.

I find myself being all mushy and wanting to just let myself get into a relationship with him.


Let me back track. I wrote this originally on the 8th, then saved it as a draft. Then I forgot about it and never finished it. I have been living in LA LA Land, and I am not opposed to it. I kind of like it.

So me and this bear cub were exclusive on the 1st of September, and then by Friday the 10th, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. And I said yes.

Now, I was not one for a relationship. The single life suited me just fine and I loved documenting it here. But then, something happened and I guess I met the only person who could tame me. He’s amazing. I like spending time with him. We both were not looking for a relationship and now here we are.

We had some connection, something was pulling us together. Now I’m spending so much time with him and he loves it. What has happened to me? Oh well I guess I will go with the flow and see where things go…


The hardest part of this is telling the others that I am now off the market… AHHHHH

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Nymphomaniac Volumes I & II (Sept 1st)




So I spent my Labor Day relaxing. Mostly because I had an intense work out and my muscles hurt and because it’s so hot outside.

So I woke up and immediately turned on Nymphomaniac. It’s been sitting in my queue for some time and today was just the perfect occasion to watch it. And I watched all three hours of it. Loved it. I heard all the sex scenes that are not simulated were real.

Anyway watching those movies have really gotten me thinking. Thinking about me and my own conquests and what shit like that. I do not think I’m a nymphomaniac, or sex addict, but I guess I like sex just as much as the next lady. She didn’t want to fall in love in the movie and here I am, I don’t want to have a boyfriend. But she ends up falling in love and I find myself in a similar situation (minus the love).

Alpha Cub/San Fran asked me to be exclusive. Yes, you read that correctly. He asked me to be exclusive on Friday. I mean, he’s grown on me. In the short time I’ve known him, I’ve come really impressed with him and his ability to win me over.

He got all in his feelings and told me how he felt.




I couldn’t resist. Maybe I do want a boyfriend. I’ve been single for a while; maybe it’s time. Exclusivity first and then down the road a relationship.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I crumbling? Someone bitch slap me to wake up.

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I Have Been Underestimating Younger Guys

In a post last week, I talked about guy that I met IRL.

Well we went on a pseudo date on Wednesday; just happy hour and dinner. We walked around DC some and stopped at Ben’s Next Door. It was great. I did not have to do much on Thursday, so it was fine.

Fast forward to Friday. On Thursday I stopped by my house and picked up a dress that I have had for two years and haven’t worn; a little black dress. This was going to be the perfect time to where it. He picked me up and we went to Chez Billy. Chez Billy is a classy place and it was very intimate. This guy really impressed me for some reason. So being that I thought he was my age I was not sure if he could afford this and I was prepared to chip in. The menu was all in French and he ordered for me, which I thought was cute.

We talked a lot. For some reason I was really vibing with this guy. He was talking about his sister and at one point I asked him how old he was. He tells me 22. I was surprised. He asked if it would be a problem, and at the time I was not sure. But this is what I know about him:

  • He has his own place.
  • He has a nice job.
  • Very attentive.
  • Yummy looking.
  • An Alpha.
  • Very Smart.

He is just a year out of college. But for someone his age, he has a lot going for him. More than people my own age have going for them. So we stopped by his house before we headed to another place. We spent about an hour there, had some drinks, and then headed to U Street since it was so close to his condo. Alero had $5 Tequila, $3 Beer and $6 Tacos, so of course we went there. We danced, drank, and made out.  Like we were those people you see and are like “can they fucking get a room”.  It was borderline sexual. At one point I bit him.

He made the decision to go back to his place. I remember him taking my clothes off and getting it all started. Now I was surprised by his size and the shape of his manhood. He was a nice size and it curved a little; hitting all the right spots and then some. It was wonderful. We took it to the kitchen and then the couch. It went on for hours. After we had sex and multiple orgasms, he went down on me for what seemed hours. PERFECT NIGHT. Of course I stayed over, and he made me breakfast. I didn’t have to ask for breakfast, he just decided to make it for me. And it was a good breakfast at that.

We ended up hanging out a lot this past weekend; went to lunch today; hanging out on Thursday. A little too much if you ask me, but the D is so good.  I thought I was going to have to tell him what I wanted and what to do, but to my surprise he was so good in bed. He was just the right amount of aggressive and kinky.  I kept telling him he was putting some kind of voodoo on me.

I have not been with someone my age or younger in years. Definitely haven’t been with someone younger than me. However, I will never judge a man by his age again… actually I cannot promise that. What trips me out is I have the audacity to talk like I’m a grown ass woman when I am really just 25. My soul is that of a 35 y/o.

I think I have been underestimating the young guys…

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…why do men come back pt. 2

Then there was Luke. The guy I would rebound with and see in between dating other people.

Well I posted that he had kicked my to the curb after I had asked him to be apart of a threesome with me and CREB. He thought that CREB’s ways were too degrading. In actuality, he got in his feelings. We argued via text for a little bit and then communication was cut off. That was back in March.

This fool has been texting me randomly asking me how I have been all that stuff and sometimes I have been drunk and engaged. But the one time I was sober and he started in all how he missed me and how cool of a person I was and all that; I just told him that I was not interested. Like how you gonna kick me to the curb over some bullshit and then try and come back. Stay in you lane sir! I do not have time for him. I have too many other options right now and he is annoying.

Politely I told him that I was seeing someone; which took him for a loop; and he said maybe we can be friends and stay in contact. Whatever. But I calmly let him know that, “yea we can be friends but I am NOT interested in having sex with you anymore”. That ship has sailed all around the world and back again.

Why was he even trying to come back? Maybe he hasn’t found any new chicks to bone on the regular from time to time. That is not my problem.

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…why do men come back? pt. 1

It has been some long since I have talked about this guy. I do not even remember what nickname I came up for him.  I think he was called Blank. We did not get along– what the fuck was I thinking? SO anyway. Me and Blank ended on a bad note. I do not think he is my type.  He’s shorter than I, he’s about to 40 and he is uptight all the time. He has a good job and a nice place and I can tell he has moola, but no thank you.

So let us fast forward to now from the beginning of November. He sends me this random email last Monday on top of a random email. Saying that he did not know he still had my number and was cleaning out his phone. How many people have used this dumb excuse to get in contact with someone? I haven’t because if I can see right through it, I am sure other people can. I mean, maybe you do clean out your contacts from time to time, do you boo; but do not think that I am going to fall for that.

So when he texts me I am a little bit confused because of the way in which we ended.  There was name calling and storming out and all that good stuff. He wanted to know how I was doing and then told his dog died and that his brother was bit by a dog and the family had to put it down. Yes, all of that. He kept texting me paragraphs upon paragraphs. I’m at work like, “BRUH”. Still in my head I am skeptical as to why he is talking to me. I was a bitch to him and can openly admit that. BUT then again, lots of guys come back to me.

HE wanted to meet up with me last weekend and I said I would see what my schedule was like. I intended to meet with him, but then I went on a run and got really tired and just wanted to lay around in bed. Plus it was my friend’s birthday party that night so I did not want to be out all day and all night. Saturday comes and I explain this to him. At first I was going to have him pick me up from Southerner’s house, but when I realized he wanted to meet me and that I would have to do work in order to meet him; I let him know that I was tired from my run and that I would have to sit this one out.

Here came his uptightness. Talking about we had plans and I am blowing them off and what not. Let me correct you, we did not have plans we just said we would see how our schedules were for that day and go from there. I felt like I was on a time constraint and I do not like being boxed on. Plus he wasn’t going to pick me up.  I have been trying to control my own anxieties and things like that, so I do not want someone making me all anxious. I calmly called him and explained, “look you are not going to ruin my day by being uptight. Relax we did not have set plans for anything in particular and you need to pack and get ready for your business trip anyway. I like to go with the flow and if I give in to meeting you, I can tell that it will not turn out well because you’re already being uptight.” He went on and on about how we did have plans and he is tired of people blowing him off; blah blah blah. OK, I get it but tone it down sir.

We did not meet that day.

Later though I asked him why he was reaching out to me since we ended on such horrible terms and he said that he really liked me and missed me, especially the way I said his dogs’s name Bentley. I am still confused and told him that we could be friends. I think that was a blow to his ego. But I do not see myself dating him. Having sex with a man that is shorter than you, significantly shorter than you, is weird and he is too uptight for me.

–The Ego

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…the month of August in a nutshell…

Where have I been for the past few weeks? 

I could not even tell you. I was sick and bed ridden for a little while due to a massive migraine attack. And then I have been hanging out with the Southern Charmer. I think he thinks I am his girlfriend. I do not think he is my boyfriend.

I have stated this so many times before, ” I do not think that I am ready for a boyfriend because I am having too much fun and have too many options”. That sounds selfish, but that’s the point.

So I have been cooped up with this guy for a little bit giving him most of my attention, but my mind and my fingers wonder and I find myself texting someone else from time to time.  He is a nice guy and all but I do not see myself with him for a long time. The sex is not where I would like to be. You would think that we would be “doing it” all the time, but I am not completely satisfied sexually with him. He has yet to attempt to go down on me; he has not initiated sex; and his tactics for initiating sex are lame. Otherwise, he is a nice guy.

I do not like ‘nice guy’ in the bed. I like Aggressive, dominate guy. And he is not that. How do I bring this up without sounding like a complete bitch?  I mean, because I would like to keep him in my ‘roster’.

I still have my super sexy bisexual dom CREB. The ex Napoleon is there too. Then there is the Alpha Wolf Alcid, Oakland, some randm guy named AJ I met last Saturday, some other random guy CC I also met on Saturday and then a potential I met on Saturday as well. Oh and then a couple other guys I call on when those guys are acting up.

Speaking of Saturday.

I went to Public Bar to celebrate a friend’s birthday. I have been doing the online dating thing for some time now, so did not expect to meet any real guys in ‘real life’. Let’s just say that I have been out of the loop when it comes to meeting people in ‘real life’. Not to mention, I do not have much of a ‘night life’.

So upon entering the bar by myself, I found my way to the roof top and ordered myself a whisky and ginger. Now, at this moment I knew that I had to get some liquor in me to get my super sexy confidence going. Do not get me wrong, I am a confident person without alcohol, but being a bar by myself can be awkward and I did not want awkward sexy to come out, but super sexy. I have probably lost you or you’re thinking I am a loser; either way that was my though process.

Up comes this guy with a very effeminate voice. I do not have that good of a ‘gaydar’ and I do not like to judge; seeing as how I dated a bisexual man. But I was still curious. Hey, I have dated a bisexual man before, why not again? Right?! But this guy was an African American guy and if you have been reading my blogs, you know I have been dating white guys. So anyway he offers to buy me and drink and we struck up conversation. He was nice, I threw in a few awkward laughs and he gave me his contact information. For some time I believed he did not think that I had friends coming because my friends were running a little late. (I am always on time or early for everything) He bought me another drink and then when my friends came I showed him I wasn’t a loser and he went home. Great. He seemed like he had his head on his shoulders and talked a big game. We will see, because the way he was dressed… I digress

SO I went on the other side of the roof top bar area with my friends and we proceeded to take a shot of some mystery liquor. My motto is, ” If  some one is buying you a drink, take it and drink it”. I think in all that night I spent like $8 on my one drink that I bought myself. I promptly told Southerner that someone bought me drinks but that’s all and he was cool with it. Anyway was trying get my girl some action and she had a really beautiful friend who; if I was a single guy and exotic chicks were my thing; I would bang. So I tried to hook her up with some guy, it didn’t go well but his friend, who I will call San Fran started talking to me. He seemed like he was around my age  and he was cute. If you have been reading my blog you know I also date a little older as well. So we talked he bought me a couple of beers and we exchanged numbers and he had to leave. After he left. My friend introduced me to some people she work with and one of them was this little short guy (don’t really do short men) around her age named AJ. I look at him like someone I could hang out with. Friendzone all the way, bro.  I am all about making new friends now days, because you never know what connections they have that can boost your career.

SO anyway, the next day went on a cute day date with the Southerner; doing real couple like shit. I think that’s what I need. A guy I can do couple like shit with, without him being my boyfriend.

Of course the guys I met texted me and stuff. Why wouldn’t they?!

Of course you have to keep the others thinking about you by sending them text messages here and there letting them know you’re still around and stuff so that’s what I do from time to time. I think I need a break from the Southerner though. If I spend anymore time with him, I may break his heart. He has already slipped that he thinks he loves me. What was my response? “I could be a serial killer and you do even know”. What else was I supposed to say?

There will be more post on more interesting things. Just wait.

The Ego.

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"Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and to others in the process."

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